"I really didn't believe in God" told me Ana*, "but now I think I have changed my mind a little bit". Ana is 17 years old, she has been confined at Renacer, our own (Christ For The City Int'l) girls restoration facility, by the juvenile court. As a street child she has been forsaken by her own family and has faced almost everything any parent could fear for a child from sexual exploitation to substance abuse.



Ana tells me that more than not believing in God she's been disappointed by Him. I really never did anything wrong or bad to anybody as a child, I wasn't bad... why did God let me live the things I lived at such early age?". As she opened up her heart and let me peak through it I started trembling at the darkness, loneliness, desperation, fear, helplessness and the almost completely annihilated vision of herself as a beautiful human being created in the image of God. Taking a look into Ana's heart was a short, virtual trip to hell.

I tried to share a few words of hope and courage, but I was honestly overwhelmed. I knew in my head Jesus was more than capable to fill in any void in her life. That is what you hear in church every Sunday, that is what you read in the Word every once in a while, that is what you get to hear from some people on the 700 club or in crusades; but facing such tremendous desolation face to face made me shiver and forced me to examine my perspective of what I believe about my own God and His grace.

Not that He needs me to have a revelation of his love, grace, salvation, etc. etc. I found myself in a place where I had to deal with myself and with how effective a servant/representative of his Gospel I am. It was all about being real and genuine as a Christian. It was about offering a Word that is faithful to itself, alive and sharp enough to get to the bone.

I heard a good friend sang "you can only possess what you experience", well I have come to realize my service to the Lord is about struggling to have this real, genuine revelation on a daily meeting with Him. I haven't experienced fireworks, visions or dreams, but it's ok. I am glad God comes to visit me as soft solid rain. I am glad I was able to KNOW my service to God is not feeling pity for another human being (although compassion is a big plus for the job description). It's about believing He will fulfill His will with or without us. I am humbled he is generous enough to let me participate in the process.

Ana's path in life hasn't been easy. Neither has it been for the other 20+ girls at Renacer. I am glad He is revealing to the girls through so many Godly people who have decided to do everything in their power to help them understand there is hope, love and faith after all. I am Glad we can be God's arms to hug them and tell them He is with them everyday.



I have to confess I wiped a few tears after my conversation with Ana. I couldn't help thinking of Steven Curtis Chapman's song, "So, What now?/ What will you do now that you found Me?/ What now?
What will you do with this treasure you've found?/ I know I may not look like what you expected/ But if you remember this is right where I said I would be/ You've found me/ What now?"

Ana and many other boys, girls, women and men in terrible circumstances I see every day have helped me understand that God wants more than just our tears and our pity. May we do what we have to do to meet those precious people right where they are.

Would you please take two minutes and pray for those who still need to meet with Hope face to face? If you have an extra minute left I would appreciate the generosity of an extra prayer for us who are serving in the mission field day by day, as for me please pray so that I never forget it's not my water coming out of "my" well.

Have a blessed day.

Carlos

*Real names have been changed to protect identities.